Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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