I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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