i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
