Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
