If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
