worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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