u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
if only i could text you this smell
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
