Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
