Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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