when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
