Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
