Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
