I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
