Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
