I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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