Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
