Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
