it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
