I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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