FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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