i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
