Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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