I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
