Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
