Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
