Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
