hell yes lets make some ravioli
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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