The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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