So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
