I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
