Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
