I'm going to jail i love you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
