Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
