ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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