Where did you get a picture of my penis
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
