He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
