Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
