So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
