Dual....:-)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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