Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
