How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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