You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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