i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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