i think i have two assholes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
