I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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