We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
