he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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