New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Shame - the story of my life.
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