I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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