just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
