You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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