Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
