oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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