so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
